When conducting a job performance coaching session with one of your employees, there are three critical components to the conversation that must be in place in order to achieve the outcome you're looking for:
1) Safe: Make it safe for employees to express differing or opposing views. Fight your impulse to argue to defend your position and be aware of your body language: calm voice, relaxed posture and good eye contact.
2) Respect: Create conditions where you can both be honest and respectful. You can't stay in a meaningful conversation if you don't maintain mutual respect.
3) Mutual Purpose: Mutual Purpose is the entry point for meaningful dialogue. Find a shared goal that is worth both of you discussing.